How Can I Be Light When I Feel This Way?
by diana goddess of the moon
Summary: Warning: Angst, angst and more angst. Yet it's a thriller. Some humour. Just when Koji thinks he's finally left his dark days behind him, strange things start to happen. Then there's that weird guy from the flower shop. Koji thinks he's going crazy...
1. Introductions

**Introductions**

Koji closed his eyes, took a deep breath. Counted to ten. Fifteen, for good measure.

_Gee, two years and I still have anger problems_. Koji opened his eyes and noticed that the queue was moving. _This is a flower shop. This shouldn't be taking so long_.

It took a whole five minutes before the man at the counter was satisfied with his purchase and it was Koji's turn.

"A message for Satomi." Koji slammed the piece of paper down on the counter and turned to leave.

"Hey, you're her kid, right?"

Koji turned back, bit back a sharp reply. His response still came out harsh.

"I'm _not_ her kid." His eyes flashed. "She's my father's wife."

"Sorry." The new assistant was a young, bright young man. His smile dimmed a few watts. Koji felt a little regret. _Just a bit_. He spared the guy a cold glare and turned again. Just a few steps to the door and he would have been free.

"I'm Gary, by the way."

Koji stopped. _I don't care what your name is_. Bu he had promised his father nicer to people in the future. He turned back, suppressing a sigh.

"Koji."

"I know."

The small shop was deserted. Koji toyed with the leaves of the closest plant. Gary was looking at him strangely. The humidity in the place was pushing in on Koji and claustrophobia was slowly edging closer.

"Where's Satomi?"

"She's out for now. She'll be back soon."

Koji stuffed his hands back into his pockets, tried to avoid Gary's eyes. They were freaking him out.

"Will… will you check that she gets that? It's important."

"Sure… sure. Hey, listen, you into Star Wars?"

Koji failed to hide his surprise.

"Star Wars? No!"

Gary grinned.

"Harry Potter?"

"That's for little kids…" Koji grimaced and inched towards the open door.

"How about Lord of the Rings? Come on, everybody likes it."

"I've read the Hobbit. It was dumb."

Suddenly the bell above the door tinkled and Satomi stepped in.

"Ah. Koji, I see you've met Gary," she smiled.

"Note on counter, bye," Koji muttered and escaped into the street.

He hated flower shops. The air inside was always thick and difficult to breathe. He gulped in fresh air, stuffed his hands deeper into his pockets and headed to where his friends were waiting for him.

Everyone had changed.

Takuya and Zoë were dating. They went to the same school and were practically inseparable. Zoë was still the pretty, funny, happy-go-lucky flower girl of old but Takuya had matured into a tall, handsome youth. He hadn't lost his impulsive air-headed manner, but took it upon himself to arrange meeting between the six of them every two weeks.

JP had grown. Upwards and outwards. He had finally mastered the art of sleight-of-hand, but still couldn't hold down a girl.

Tommy had evolved from a cute, tiny kid to an insightful, cool-headed boy. He had his own band of friends now, but always managed time with his old partners.

Koji watched his brother look at him as he neared them. Koji never knew what he was thinking, yet Koichi could read his twin like a book. It scared and comforted Koji, but it was like Koji had to let a stranger into his life every day.

Koji's face clouded as he remembered the confrontation between his father and himself that nearly led him to run away from home.

"_Why didn't you tell me?"_

"_I was trying to protect you!"_

"_Protect me? By lying to me? Do you have any idea of what I've had to go through? I thought she was dead!"_

"_I'm sorry! I thought it would be better if we could start over! After that accident, neither of us wanted to see each other again, so we made an agreement and stuck to it!"_

"_And you didn't think that we'd find out? You didn't think of the consequences!"_

"Koji."

"What?" Koji, blinked, frowned at his brother.

"Dude, you're _always_ distracted." JP ripped open a packet of crisps and poured the contents down his throat. Koji grimaced.

"I said, now that you cut your hair, we'll never be able to tell you two apart." Zoë grinned and flung an arm across Takuya's shoulder.

"Oh." Koji blushed. Since he could no longer refuse to cut his hair, an exception he had managed to wrangle out of his father by using his 'mourning' excuse, his mother had tricked him by tying him to a kitchen chair and attacking him with scissors. The result was very similar to Koichi's own head. Koji had stomped around for days, yelling at everyone and everything, but finally got over it and abandoned his trademark bandanna.

Koichi sent Koji a quick sideways glance and jumped to his brother's rescue.

"Yeah, our mom decided that we might as well confuse everyone. And she said that long hair doesn't suit sixteen-year-olds."

"Oh, well, I didn't care."

Koji leaned against the bench and watched Tommy try to score some crisps from JP and Takuya whisper something in Zoë's ear as she giggled quietly.

"I gotta go. I got a summer job yesterday and want to get there early." Koichi glanced at his watch.

"Yeah. I gotta go unpack." Koji pushed off the bench and started to follow his brother.

"Wait! Didn't you move yesterday?" Takuya called.

"Yeah! Which is why I need to go!" Koji called down the street.

"What's it like?" Tommy shouted back.

"Well, it's got walls and doors and windows. You have to see it yourself."

He turned back, pleased at his retort, and then caught sight of the amused look on his brother's face.

"What?"

"You do realize that you just invited them to your house, right?"

"Shit." Koji stole a glance over his shoulder and saw the whole gang traipse after them. "Do you think I can outrun them?"

Koichi frowned.

"Didn't you promise to be nicer?"

"How do you know about that?" Koji stopped dead, stared at Koichi in disbelief.

"We might not live together, but there are lines of communication between our parents thanks to your little outburst two years ago."

"Shit." He sped up, saw that his brother was deliberately slowing down.

Koichi started to laugh and headed across the street.

"It's faster this way," he called across.

"Betrayer!" Koji called back.

Then the flock caught up.

-

"I'm COMING!"

Koji stumbled over a cat and swore. The old-fashioned doorknocker silenced itself as he started down the wide staircase. He sped on, disregarding the silence at the front door.

A key jangled in the lock and Koji paused halfway across the lobby. _Why would someone knock for ten minutes, and then take out their keys. Maybe it's Satomi…_

The door flung open and Koji froze.

Gary picked up the flowers from the doorstep and flashed Koji a smile.

"Hi, Koji. Your mother had me drop off this. I didn't know you had a twin!"

Koichi stepped into the house, surprise and curiosity written across his face.

Who's that? He mouthed at his twin and jerked his head towards Gary's back.

Gary stood back, studied the flowers and nodded his approval. He turned to the twins.

"Wow. What a resemblance. You two really _do_ look alike."

Koji continued to stare. As did Koichi.

"Well, see you around," Gary said, smile fading and left, locking the door behind him.

"Who's he?" Koichi repeated as Koji sped to the window to watch Gary retreat.

"Gary. A weirdo who works at Satomi's shop. Where on earth did he get the keys to my house?"

"Maybe Satomi gave them to him to get in?" Koichi proposed. Koji missed the sarcasm.

"Probably."

Koichi's gaze turned from disbelief to concerned instantly. Koji turned to Koichi.

"What are you doing here?"

"I've come to stand in your lobby and stare at you."

"Sorry. I've been a bit distracted."

"More than usually."

"It's nothing." Koji shrugged off the strange feeling. "Come check out my room."

After about five minutes of traipsing up unending stairs, they finally reached his room. Koichi was out of breath.

"You couldn't have chosen one closer to the front? I'm going to get lost in here."

"That's what Tommy said," Koji smiled slightly and pushed at the door. "But I like this room."

It was small compared to the house. His old bed and desk stood in one corner and two boxes labeled "Koji's stuff" in another.

"Look." Koji stepped up to the window and swung back the shutters. "It opens up."

With the shutters open, the window nearly doubled in size and let in twice as much light as before. It had a magnificent view of the back garden.

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Nice choice. Zoë probably loved it."

Koji's smile vanished.

"You didn't show them."

Silence.

"Why?"

"I dunno. It's private."

"You and your privacy. They're your friends. Trust them."

"Get real. I barely trust _you_."

"True. But at least you showed me this."

Koichi ventured an arm across his brother's shoulder. Growing up with women, hugs were natural and everyday occurrences to him. Koji's large personal space was difficult to penetrate and last time Koichi had tried to hug him, he ended up with a bloody nose.

Koji tensed, but Koichi's face was still unbruised. _Progress_.

"Okaythatsenough." Koji stepped away. Koichi hid his disappointment, but triumph filled him and showed on his face. It took two years, but he finally received a half-hug from his brother. _Today would go down in history_.

Koji sighed.

"Sorry."

"It's okay. You're improving."

Koji nodded.

"Oh yeah, Mom wants you to stay over next week. She'll call Dad, but she told me to tell you."

"That's cool." Koji shrugged. "I'm hungry. Want some lunch?"

Food was found, wolfed down and the TV was switched on. It was one of the two pieces of furniture Koji insisted on bringing in first, along with his bed.

Koji was the first to fall asleep. Koichi watched some more, noticed his brother was snoring, shrieked at the time and rushed to work.


	2. Creepy Gary

**A/N: Please see my profile for disclaimer and extra info. **

**About this story, although some of it takes place in Japan, please don't expect it to be overtly Japanese. I'm sure you would have noticed that from my questionable naming of the OC. Yes, his name is Gary. No, he's not Japanese.**

**Also, the reason for the rating is because I swear. Frequently. And coarsely. If you want me to bump the rating up a bit, please let me know. Sorry if I offend anyone. That's just the way it is. **

**Creepy Gary**

Koji awoke to darkness. It sounded like his father and Satomi had gone out to dinner. The house was quiet and foreboding.

He made his way to his room, switching on lights as he went. A cat brushed against him, longing for heat, but he ignored the cry for affection and shut the door on the meows. He had started to unpack his computer when he heard a door open somewhere.

_19:15. They're back early. Maybe they just got take aways_.

Not one to shy away from food, Koji headed downstairs. But there was no one in the kitchen. He frowned, called himself a baka aloud and returned to his room.

Computer installed and running, he contemplated calling Takuya.

Then he definitely heard something down the hall.

Instinctively he grabbed a ruler and wielded it like a sword. Then he laughed at himself and flung open his door.

"Dad?"

Silence.

"Satomi?"

He let out a frustrated "ugh" and flung himself on the bed. It was most likely just one of Satomi's cats. She had four of them. _Stupid animals_.

Yet, cats don't talk.

Koji crept towards the door. A muffled voice could be heard down the passage. It sounded like someone humming. The melody was familiar, but Koji couldn't place it.

Then it hit Koji. There was someone in the house, and the person was getting closer.

He had been through worse before. _This is different. I can't digivolve when I like anymore_. But he could still defend himself without those. He used to do martial arts, for Christ's sake. He paused, remembered that the last time he did that was… two years ago. _What if there's a gun? Oh, shit._

Koji flattened himself against the wall. _Of course they know I'm here. I practically announced myself a minute ago_. Koji suddenly felt immense relief that Koichi wasn't here. _Hey, I'm not a bad person after all._

_Should I close the door?_ Koji reached out for the handle. The humming was coming from right outside the door. As Koji's hand closed over the knob, he was thrown back as the person outside slammed the door.

A key scrabbled in the lock and with a jolt he realized he was being locked inside his own room. He flung himself at the door, but it was too late.

"There is nothing valuable in the house! We just moved in!"

There was muffled laughter from the other side of the door.

"Stealing's not on my list of priorities…"

Seven words (well, plus a contraction) and Koji recognized the voice.

"Gary?"

There was silence.

"Gary? I know it's you, Dumbass! Did you really think I wouldn't recognize your voice?"

The laughter started up again. It was different from the cheerful, bright Gary Koji had met before, but that strange feeling Koji had felt first in the flower shop hung in the air.

"No one will believe you…"

"You think?" Koji sounded more confident than he felt. A tiny grain of doubt was planted in his mind. "Of course Satomi is going to listen to me rather than you!"

Gary laughed that cheerless laugh again.

"Oh, God, Koji. You don't honestly believe that, do you?"

Fear suddenly gripped at Koji's throat. _What on earth is Gary's problem?_

"What do you want?"

"Nothing… I just want to scare you."

"Why? What the hell?"

There was silence.

"Gary? Let me out!"

"Goodbye, Koji. We'll meet again."

The last words were whispered and Koji had to strain his ears to hear them.

Then footsteps echoed down the hall.

"Gary? Gary! Coward! Let me out, you retard!"

Koji banged on the door.

"Idiot!"

He heard voices downstairs. Pressing his head against the door, he wished he had ears like one of Satomi's cats.

"…early. He'll be awake."

He heard footsteps on the stairs and relief flooded through him.

"Dad!"

"Koji? What the…"

"Dad, let me out! He locked me inside-"

"What? Who did?"

"Gary! Just- just get me out!"

The doorknob rattled.

"Satomi, get the key," Koji heard his father say. Footsteps echoed down the hall again.

"Koji, what happened?"

Koji quickly related the evening to his father.

There was silence outside the door.

"Dad!"

"Koji, are you sure? How do you know it was Gary?"

"I recognized his voice, damnit! Where's Satomi?"

Footsteps neared the door and Koji could hear talking outside.

"He says it was Gary."

"Gary? _My_ Gary?"

"Yes. But how-"

"LET ME OUT!"

Finally the locked clicked and the door opened revealing two very baffled faces to Koji.

"What are you doing?" Koji practically shouted. "He could still be in the house! Find him!"

Koji headed towards the stairs, but his father grabbed his arm.

"Dad-"

"Koji, if this is a joke-"

"_What?_ No! Why would I-"

"Satomi, get Gary's number, please."

-

Koji fumed silently at the kitchen table as his father dialed Gary's home number. _They're not believing me. They don't believe me_.

"There's no answer."

"I told you-" Koji started, but his father silenced him.

"We'll call his mobile."

"Fuck this."

"Koji!"

Gary answered his mobile at the third ring.

"Gary. Kousei Minamoto. Yes, Satomi's husband. This might seem strange, but you're not in our neighborhood, are you? Oh, right. No, Koji's been acting strange. We thought you might know something. No, he's fine. Just in trouble. Thanks. Sorry for bothering. Goodbye."

"Dad-"

"Go to your room."

"Could I at least try to explain?"

"No."

"No dinner?"

"None. Go to bed."

_Slam door. Stomp up stairs. Break something. What can I break? Something valuable. There's nothing to break. Everything's packed. Fuck_.

At the top of the stairs, Koji turned around.

"Why would I lock myself into my own room? I didn't even know there was a key!"

"Koji, don't test me!"

"Why don't you believe me?"

"Give me one reason why I should believe you!"

_Okay, you got me there. I _was _trying to ruin your relationship, but that was_ "two years ago and I'm sorry!"

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry about that, I really do like Satomi, you guys are perfect for each other but you've got to believe me!"

"Gary said he was at a friend's house all night! Besides, we would have heard his mobile ring."

"His phone could have been on silent, and by the time you called him, he could have been long gone!"

"Koji." He heard his father sigh. "How can you be sure that it was Gary? You barely know him."

"I know his voice; he didn't even try to hide it!"

"Koji, go to bed."

Koji went to bed hungry.

He woke at two and struggled to go back to sleep. After rolling around and voicing his discomfort colourfully to one of the cats, Koji finally gave up and snuck downstairs to grab a midnight snack.

Sandwich in hand, he sat down across the telephone and ran through a contact list in his mind. He decided to two likely candidates.

_Koichi, Takuya. Koichi, Takuya. Koichi Takuya Koichi Takuya Koichi Takuya. Takuya_.

He picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hi, erm, it's Koji."

"I know that, you're on caller ID. What on earth? It's two-thirty in the morning! What the hell do you want?"

"I knew this was a bad idea. Sorry. Bye."

"Wait! What's going on? You wouldn't call me in the middle of the night for nothing."

"Actually, I just did. Bye."

Koji slammed the phone down, forced the rest of the sandwich down his throat. The phone rang loudly, shattering the silence. Koji instinctively grabbed the thing off the hook.

"Takuya, WHY are you calling me back?"

"Because. You're my friend."

"Fuck. What came over me."

"No need to swear."

"I only do it when I'm really annoyed."

Takuya sighed.

"You might as well tell me what's going on. You woke me up."

There was silence on Koji's end of the line.

"Well?"

"I'm not going to tell you if you won't believe me."

"Why would I not believe you?"

Koji hit another blank.

"Okay. This guy works at Satomi's shop. He looks normal. Tonight I was alone at home and I thought I heard someone in the house. Turns out _he_ was in the house. He locked me in my room and ran away when my dad came home. They didn't believe me."

Takuya was silent.

"Takuya. Please don't tell me you're asleep."

"No. That's weird. He locks you in your room? Strange…"

"…yeah."

"Did you tell Koichi?"

"No. Thought I'd tell you first."

"Okay. I'm coming over first thing tomorrow morning."

"Um. Okay, what are you going to do?"

"I dunno yet. I'll think of something."

"Well, see you then."

"Okay. G'night."

"Goodnight."

Koji slammed the phone down. _What have I done?_

**Oooh. What happens next? Find out in **_**A Matter of Trust and Belief**_**, due Monday!**


	3. A Matter of Trust and Belief

"Open the door

**A/N: Disclaimer and notes – see my profile.**

**Sorry, took me a while to update – fucking computer screwed me over. About the length, this story is completed and the chapters are set to between 1000 and 2000 words. Sorry, that's not going to change.**

**Allright, we're getting closer to the actual core of this. Stick around… **

**A Matter of Trust and Belief**

"Open the door!"

"Come on, Koji!"

"NOW, Minamoto!"

Koji sat down on the stairs and placed his head in his hands. _Never trust Takuya. Ever again._

The scuffle at the door simmered down.

"Koji? Please open the door. People are starting to stare at us."

"Zoë, Takuya never mentioned anything about bringing EVERYBODY over the phone last night! Shit, did he tell you?"

There was silence.

"TAKUYA!"

"I'm sorry, they dragged it out of me!"

Koji heard another voice in the background. He was suddenly reminded of the previous night and in a moment of panic, flung open the door.

"Finally," JP groaned and sped past Koji into the lobby, Tommy following gleefully. Zoë shot him a concerned look as she stepped into the house. Takuya bit his lip as Koji stared daggers at him.

"Watch your back," Koji growled.

Koichi stood at the back, holding a carrier bag.

"What's going on?"

"Get JP to tell you."

Koichi stepped into the lobby.

"Alright, who screwed up Koji?"

Three heads turned automatically to Takuya. Koichi sighed.

"What happened?"

Koji stayed silent, fuming.

"Takuya?"

Takuya relented and relayed the events of the previous night.

Koichi turned disappointed eyes at Koji.

"Why is it my fault?" Koji snapped.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Koichi cried.

"I don't know."

"Alright. We have a problem. Let's find a solution."

"We don't have a problem. I vote Koji dreamed it all," JP said and tore open a chocolate bar.

"I didn't dream it! I didn't even know there was a key!"

"Come on. Prove that you were locked behind a door by guy who works in your mother's flower shop."

"The door was locked when my dad came home."

"And that proves… that the door was locked," JP stated and chomped at the candy.

Koji sighed. _Now I have to prove this to my friends_.

"Can't you guys… just believe me?"

"Koji, I believe you." Koichi stepped closer, then decided that Koji didn't need a hug.

"So do I," Takuya said.

"I don't know…" Zoë glanced between Koji and Takuya. She had never seen Koji this helpless. But… it wasn't enough. _Maybe the stress of the relationships between everyone in his family is taking its toll on him_.

Tommy shook his head. Koji isn't the most emotionally stable in the group. It could have been just a really bad dream. Tommy has had his share of those, and he knew how real they could seem.

Koji watched helplessly as his friends started to doubt him.

"I – I need some time alone." Before anyone could stop him, he had headed up the stairs and shut himself in his room.

Koichi turned to the rest of the people gathered in his brother's lobby.

"Maybe you guys should go…"

JP hung back as his friends started to leave. He stepped closer to Koichi, stuffed a melted chocolate bar the twin's hand.

"Tell him it's nothing personal. It's just… not very believable. Sorry I was harsh."

Koichi shut the door behind them.

"Koji?" Koichi knocked softly on the door of his brother's room. He opened the door an inch. The shutters were flung wide, Koji lying on his bed, staring out the window.

Koichi took the silence as positive and entered.

He sat down on the side of the bed and stared at the floor. A key was lying on the floor. Quietly he picked it up and inserted it in the door. It fit perfectly.

Koji turned his head and looked at his brother.

"Am I going crazy?"

"Maybe you just dreamt. People have nightmares all the time."

"Do people get bruises in their dreams?"

Koji lifted his sleeve, showed a red welt. Koichi winced.

"He shoved the door at me."

"Maybe you were sleepwalking. You probably hurt yourself and your subconscious created a cause."

Koji pulled a face.

"You're making too much sense."

"You make it sound like a bad thing."

"It _is_ a bad thing. It weakens my argument."

Koichi shrugged.

"So you don't believe me either?"

"I believe you, I'm just trying to make sense of it."

"Oh."

"So you sleepwalked, so you hurt yourself in the progress."

"I didn't sleepwalk!"

"How do you know that?"

Silence.

"Okay. We're assuming you sleepwalked. I suggest you apologize to Gary."

"I still don't think I sleepwalked."

"Why?"

"I remember using a ruler last night. The one I use for school. It's gone now."

"…and?"

"I can't find any pens, pencils, sharpeners, erasers, nothing."

"Maybe you just misplaced them."

"You know me. I don't even own a pencil bag. Everything's all over the place. Why can't I find one thing?"

"Right. You got a point there."

"Why would everything go missing all at once? Unless someone's taken them."

"Maybe Satomi's trying a mother act and just put everything together."

"Humph. Pull the other leg."

"Yeah. Wishful thinking."

"You're not the one who has to live with her, what are you moaning about?"

"What? She's my stepmother too."

"You don't get cat hair and plant oasis all over your stuff."

"Uh, Koji, could we get back to the point?"

"Where were we?"

"Missing stationary. Satomi."

"Oh yeah."

Silence.

"Call her and find out."

"You call her."

"No. It's your stuff."

"Fine. Next time you're in need, don't count on me."

Satomi didn't pick up her phone. Someone else did.

"Hello, Satomi's phone."

"Satomi, please."

"Oh, hi, Koji. You okay? I heard you were sick last night. How are you feeling?"

_SHIT_. Koji nearly tossed the mobile out the window. Instead, Koichi caught it, saw the call was still active. He frowned sternly at Koji.

It's Gary, Koji mouthed.

Koichi's mouth formed an O. He nonchalantly put it to his ear.

"Gary?"

"Yes? Koji? You sound different."

"I accidentally dropped the thing. Sorry. Will you tell Satomi I called?"

Suddenly Gary's voice changed.

"Next time, Satomi won't be there to protect you."

The phone went dead.

Koichi turned big eyes to Koji.

"What the fuck."

"What?" Koji asked, his eyes stretching.

"It _did_ happen."

Koji's face set.

"I told you. I _told_ you."

"He said, next time Satomi won't be there to protect you."

There was silence.

"So much for your sleepwalking theory." Koji stared at his hands.

"How did the key get into your room?"

"He was still in the house."

"Good lord, Koji. This is dangerous. The guy is a psycho."

"You see my dilemma."

"I think we both need a cup of tea."

"Good idea."

Twenty minutes later, they had taken their staring downstairs.

"Shit." Koichi voiced.

"Fuck." Koji added.

"What are we going to do?"

"You're asking me?"

"I suggest you stay the night at Mom's and I don't leave you alone for an instant."

"That'll work for a while. Then it'll get old and you'll get sick of me and my bad moods."

"It's better than nothing."

"Maybe we should try to trick him into confessing. You know, on record."

"Too dangerous."

"We can't sit and wait for him to kill me… or something."

"We should tell Mom."

"No."

"Why?"

"If you weren't my brother, who would you trust: a cheerful, sober, seemingly normal young man or a sixteen-year-old with mood swings like a yo-yo and the most emotional baggage ever."

"Good point. Still, for now, you're staying with us. At least there you'll be around people most of the time."

"Okay."

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"What are you waiting for? Go pack."

"What, now?"

"No. Next week at your funeral."

"Glad to see someone else can take over the pessimist role when I die."

"Okay. Let's not talk about that, please."

**Ha. So, is that the best that Gary could come up with? I doubt it… check out **_**More Psycho Happenings**_**, update on Thursday! **


	4. More Psycho Happenings

**Oh my word, I didn't think people liked this story. I like looked at the reviews and thought, geez, this isn't going to be worth my while, isn't it? then KABOOM suddenly people started liking it. Thanks, guys. Here's the long-awaited update! **

**More Psycho Happenings**

"Koji."

"Gn. Go way."

"Wake up, Dumbass. It's nearly ten o'clock."

"It's early! Leave me alone."

"Fine. No breakfast for you."

Koichi flew out of the room in a huff as Koji contemplated the situation. _Breakfast, no breakfast. What the heck, lost sleep can always be caught up later_.

With a groan he sat up and surveyed the room. He didn't really like traditional Japanese houses. Sitting and sleeping was uncomfortable and he always forgot to take his shoes off. Especially during summer when there was no school to remind him.

_Strange dreams. When will I ever shake them off?_

Koji pulled a sweater over his pj bottoms and padded into the kitchen. He'd never tell Koichi or his mother about his preference for Western culture. He might get disowned or something. It was one thing he knew he inherited from his father. His passion for anything American or British. He even played guitar for a while, but then the depression started and he stopped doing everything. He stopped going to karate classes, stopped taking out his guitar. It was still somewhere in a box, gathering dust. Satomi had tried to encourage him to continue, but her interest only made him shrink away even more. It was because of her insistence that he gave up all together and shrank into this… shell.

Koichi had tried to re-interest Koji, but nagging him made him snap out at Koichi and refuse dramatically. Koji had always been the dramatic one.

His mother was just serving up breakfast. She looked up, flashed her son a warm smile.

"Morning, love. Sleep well?"

"Yeah. Thanks. You?"

"Lovely."

"I knew food would get you up." Koichi said and pinched a piece of bacon. Then Koji noticed his mother had cooked good old English fry-up. _Ah, bacon, eggs, toast. Now _that's_ breakfast_.

The traditionalist way annoyed Koji, but at his mom's house, it was a comfort to be able to sit around a table as a family and enjoy a meal. At home, Koji was meant to fend for himself and unless Satomi had cooked, that equaled take-out.

"So, Koji. Koichi says you have something to tell me."

Koji froze in mid-chew, flashed his eyes at Koichi, who only shrugged in turn and nervously gulped at his orange juice.

"It's nothing. Koichi's being paranoid."

Tomoko raised an eyebrow, but left it at that.

"I've got to hurry if I want to be on time for work. Would you boys mind to clean up?"

* * *

Another thing about this place Koji hated was the fact that there were chores. Since his dad got a raise and the flower shop was doing so well, they could afford two cleaners. He barely had to make his own bed.

Koji placed dibs on the dishes. It took a while, but it saved him the effort of putting everything away and he could think. Koichi finished before him and leaned against the counter.

"Why didn't you tell her?"

"We already had this conversation."

"You could at least have tried."

"Yesterday you agreed that we shouldn't. Why are you changing your mind?"

"Because. You should know by know that I tell Mom everything."

"Did you _tell her_?"

"No. I hinted at it. I should have told her."

"_Koichi!" _

"Okay, okay. I won't. Well. What are we doing today?"

"Well, I don't know what's up with the 'we' but _I'm_ going back to bed."

"Koji. That's not fair."

"I think it is. I woke up for _you_."

"No, you woke up for breakfast."

"Oh. Yeah."

Koji placed the last dish on the drying rack and peeled off the marigolds.

"Well. If I'm not going to be allowed to sleep, I might as well take a shower and get dressed."

"Good idea."

Koji found Koichi lying spread out on his back in the small garden behind the house, looking up at the sky.

"Dude, I still don't believe you don't have TV."

"Don't need it."

"There's jackshit to do."

"We got board games. Get it? _Bored_ games?"

"Koichi, I don't think that even qualifies as a joke."

"Okay. Won't do it again."

Several hours later, they had taken up refuge in Koichi's room playing cards.

"This is getting dumb, Koichi."

"Only 'cause I keep whipping your ass."

"Let's call Takuya and ask him what he's up to."

"Did you just suggest we call Takuya? Are you feeling okay?"

"Get over it. Boredom makes you do crazy things."

A mobile was found, and they called Takuya.

"Hello."

"Takuya."

"Hi Koichi. Did Koji get you to call?"

"Yeah. He beat me in rock paper scissors again. I swear he's cheating."

"Watch his other hand. JP once busted him like that."

"Hm. I'll check it out. What you doing?"

"Watching TV with Zoë. So much for a summer day, hey. It's pouring outside."

"Really? We haven't noticed. Want to go to the arcade or something?"

"Yeah. Hold on, I'll ask Zoë."

Silence.

"She says she'll stay 'cause Oprah's coming on. But I'll come. When?"

"Um. Half an hour? The one in the mall or at the pier?"

"Pier. The mall's going to be packed."

"True. See you then."

"Okay."

Koichi put the phone down, saw Koji's expression.

"What?"

"I don't want to go out!"

"Why didn't you say so?"

"I was trying! Do you think I was waving like an idiot and going ape for the heck of it?"

"Well, too late now. Get your jacket, it's raining outside."

Koji muttered something about jackets, but got up and went without one.

* * *

Koji leaned against the railings and stared at the grey water beneath the pier.

It had stopped raining, but the noises from the arcade filled the air. Koji like the arcade – he was an expert at video games. Today, though, he was a bit out of it.

"Koji!"

"What?"

"Where're you?"

"Right here, idiot!"

"Oh." Takuya rounded the corner of the building, joined Koji at the railing. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Of course." Koji tried to sound annoyed. He only wound up sounding depressed.

"You usually love the arcade."

"No shit, Sherlock. You figure that out all by yourself?"

"Oh. Sorry. You still messed up about the locked-in thing?"

Koji sent him a look that echoed his previous statement. Takuya stayed quiet.

For a while, the two boys stood there silently and stared at the murky darkness underneath the pier.

"But I don't _know_ where they are!"

"How can you-"

Zoe let go of Koichi's ear as she saw the two boys turn away from the railing.

"There you are! What are you doing outside?"

Koji and Takuya shrugged simultaneously. Koichi shot Zoe a disdainful look, slumped against the wall and massaged his ear.

"Did you tell him?" he finally asked, breaking the silence.

Koji stopped trying to contain himself.

Koichi staggered back, clutched his jaw as Koji nursed his knuckles.

"While you're at it, announce it to the whole world, why don't you…"

Takuya grabbed hold of Koji's arm, several seconds late. Koji shook him off, stomped down to the end of the pier. Zoe started after him. Koichi held her back.

"Leave him," Koichi winced and gazed after his brother. "That was my fault. He's been edgy all day and I just pushed him too far. Damnit."

Takuya and Zoe watched as Koji reached the end of the pier and kick at a cement pillar. An angry shout reached them and they saw Koji kick at the pillar again. They heard another shout.

"He'll break a toe or something," Zoe commented blandly. Takuya agreed. Koji started back to them, limping.

"Sorry," Koichi said as Koji reached them.

"Your jaw okay?"

"Yeah. Your foot?"

"I'll live. Sorry."

Takuya and Zoe exchanged a glance. _Brothers…_

"It's gonna rain again," Zoe stated and looked up at the foreboding sky.

"We should go home," Takuya added. "Who's up for cocoa, popcorn and a movie at my place?"

Zoe voted, the twins shrugged.

"I need to fetch something at home," Koji said. "Do you mind? It's on the way to yours."

"Sure."

Koji unlocked the front door, peered in.

"Anyone home?"

Silence.

"I'll be quick."

Koji headed up the stairs. His friends marveled at the size of the place, sat down on the bottom step and waited.

Suddenly there was a shout from upstairs. Three heads whipped around. Koji appeared at the top landing, gasping for air. A cat streaked down the stairs ahead of him.

"Ugh."

Koichi was up the stairs in a flash.

"What happened?"

Koji heaved a breath, turned and pointed down the hall to his room.

"A cat got closed up in there."

Koichi stepped closer. A stench hit him like a brick wall, and he fought bravely against a wave of nausea. He joined Koji at the banister, heaving at Takuya and Zoe reached the top landing.

"That… is not cat pee."

A confused look crossed Koji's face for an instant, then he closed his eyes and sank to the floor.

"Oh fuck."

"What's going on?" Takuya pulled Koji to his feet as Zoe craned her neck to see into Koji's room. Koichi shot Takuya a warning glare. Takuya paid no heed.

Zoe caught a whiff and gagged.

"Ugh! What's that smell?"

"Cat pee?" Takuya guessed.

"No way," Zoe pinched her nose. "Cat pee doesn't smell _that_ bad."

"Well, it's some kind of pee!" Takuya argued, then stopped. "You don't think-"

"No, we don't." Koichi watched as Koji leaned over the banister. _Is he okay?_

"Well, whatever it is, it STINKS!" Zoe said, trying not to breathe though her nose. She could taste the ammonia in her mouth. "It was closed up in there for ages."

"Gary has a key, right?" Takuya reasoned aloud. "He could have-"

"Shut up, Takuya." Koichi's eyes flashed with anger. _Is he stupid or something?_

"Gary?" Zoe said. "What does Gary have to do with this?"

"He's stalking Koji," Takuya said. Zoe sent him a cynical look. Koji started to protest, but Koichi silenced him with a surrendering sigh and launched into a re-telling of the story, adding the missing stationary and creepy phone call.

Zoe's eyes stretched.

"So you actually heard Gary threaten Koji?"

Koichi nodded. Koji tossed his hands into the air, giving up.

"What are we going to do?"

"Whoa," Koji said. "There is no 'we'. There is me, and there is Gary. I can fucking take care of myself."

"No way," Takuya said, shaking his head. "This is way too big just to leave. We're helping."

"No," Koji insisted. "I'll sleep at Koichi's tonight and move back tomorrow."

"Koji!" Zoe exclaimed. "Are you crazy? This guy is dangerous!"

"I can take care of myself!" Koji retorted.

"No, you can't." Koichi's voice was low, warning. "I'm not going to leave your side. You'd better get used to it."

"Fuck." Koji headed to his room, ignoring the stench.

"You're going to pass out in there!" Takuya called as Koji slammed the door.

"You guys go watch the movie." Koichi stared at the closed door, formulated a plan of action. "I'll stay, keep an eye on him."

Zoe picked up a cat, stroked it.

"I'll stay. We should probably get Koji out of there before he dies of nitrogen poisoning."

"Yeah," Takuya agreed. "I'll call JP and Tommy, we can at least make a party out of this. They can bring their video game consoles. We just gotta hang around. Wait for Koji to cool down."

Koichi thought about it for a moment.

"It could work. Zoe, help me get Koji out of there."

* * *

Half an hour later, there was a party going on downstairs. JP was still suspicious and kept badgering Koji for information.

"JP, shut UP! I'm busy!"

JP watched Koji beat Takuya for the fifth time in a row.

"Why would a perfectly normal guy suddenly go psycho and start stalking you?"

"He's not normal! Geez, could you lay off?"

JP lay back, rubbed his chin.

"You need to tell an adult."

Koji flung down the controls, turned on JP.

"Oh, yeah? Who do you suggest, hotshot?"

"Your mom."

"No f… way," Koji glanced at Tommy. "You guys didn't even believe me."

"Well, you have more concrete evidence now. The weird phone call, the …pee." JP disguised a chuckle with a choke. In any other situation, he would be canning himself.

"JP, it's actually not funny," Zoe flashed her eyes at him over the top of her magazine. "Koji's in danger."

Koji rolled his eyes. Takuya challenged Koichi to a game, Tommy stole some of JP's candy. Zoe returned to her magazine.

"You need to tell your mom," JP said again, wagging a finger at Koji, swatting at Tommy with the other hand.

"Get your finger out of my face, I swear I'll break it."

Koichi chuckled. Takuya joined in.

"What are you laughing at?" Koji threatened. Their laughter died down instantly.

"You just need to be around people a lot, and you'll be fine." Tommy snatched another handful of candy eggs, dodging JP's wrath.

"That's impossible." JP said, still in responsible adult mode. "Our solution: your mom."

Koji sighed. Takuya and Koichi's game ended and they turned their eyes on him. Zoe gazed at him from behind her magazine. Tommy and JP joined the stare.

"FINE. Fine. But I'm doing it under protest. Expect it to be difficult."


End file.
